Broken Hearts
by Quitting Time
Summary: Sometimes we define ourselves by what we don't tell those closest too us. Even if we're only hurting ourselves by doing so. Other times we blind ourselves to what is right in front of us. A Jori story with pleanty of drama. Rated T for now, but that may change later in the story.
1. What do you do with a Broken heart

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Broken hearts**

**Chapter 1 – What do you do with a broken heart.**

**Another story, no time machines , vampires or parallel worlds here, just drama and Jori. I do hope you like it.**

**Tori's POV**

I can't remember who said it, but there's a quote I've always liked.

_"You can never truly know anyone."_

I liked the quote but, like many things that buzz around a person's head, never really gave it much thought.

At least until that day in early October, of our Junior year at Hollywood Arts. It a day just like any other. We got to school, Jade insulted me, Rex said something rude, Beck and Andre compared notes on girls they liked.

But one thing was missing, Cat. She usually joined us sitting outside while we drank our coffee before school.

We'd quickly figured she'd gone with her strange brother to one of his many doctor's appointments and again didn't give it much thought. It's so easy to let the important things slip by us without notice.

1st period, was acting with Sikowitz and we sat down and awaited his entrance through the window.

But instead he came in through the door. I and the others noticed his usual merry expression was absent. Instead he looked somber and serious. It was one of those expressions that you knew, that what would be said next couldn't be anything good.

It wasn't.

He sighed, lowered his head as we looked at each other with worried expressions. All of use except Jade who leaned back in her chair and began to file her nails.

"I have an announcement." He said after clearing his throat. "Hollywood Art's student, Catherine, Cat, Valentine, passed way in her sleep last night."

I was utterly stunned and for the next 4 seconds there was dead silence in the room. A silence, broken only, by the faint sound of Jade's emery board, falling to the floor.

'Wha….What happened." Gasped Andre, who looked especially pale.

"Her heart gave out." He said, as she sat down on the edge of the stage with a world weary expression.

I was still unable to speak and was still processing the info, when I heard a distraught looking Robbie ask. "How can her heart give out, she was only 17?"

Before Sikowitz answered, I happened to look at Rex. I could have sworn, he looked equally heartbroken as the rest of us. For the next two weeks, Rex would barely say a word.

"Children. Principle Helen, Lane and her teachers knew what was going on. We had to know, in case of an emergency. However could not disclose the nature of Cat's condition, as it was her wish that we keep it secret. I wanted to say something, but I simply couldn't. But now, it's pointless to keep it from you. Cat had a defective heart valve and it was quite serious. In fact I was told she recently got on the list for a heart transplant."

I had already felt devastated, but the news of Cat having a defective heart was an even harder blow. She had never said anything about it. I wasn't sure what hurt worse, her death or the fact that she never told us she was sick. She acted happy and goofy up to the end. Tears forming in my eyes, I then looked to Jade.

She just sat there, staring straight ahead with a utterly broken look on her face. Looking further, I could see her hands were shaking.

Skowitz spoke up again. "Her bad heart is of course news to you. I can't remember the specific name of her condition, but it was a congenital heart defect that she was born with. Something to do with the Aortic valve, but in any case, it had worsened in the last year and thus the need for a transplant. But sadly, it gave out before she could have one. I'm told she died peacefully in her sleep."

By now, half the room was in tears and the other half looked on the verge of tears.

Sikowitz stood up. "Lane told me we have a counselor arriving shortly if any of you need to talk to someone. But due to this sudden and tragic loss, Principle Helen has called off school for the rest of the day. You can all go home."

He kept talking, it was something about funeral arrangements and a memorial service, but as the tears ran down my face, I was no longer listening.

Still in shock, all of us quietly grabbed our books and slowly filed out of the classroom. None of us said a word. We were still too stunned to speak.

As the hallway filled with sad looking students, Andre and Beck quickly began to console Robbie, who looked more distraught than the rest of us.

I turned to Jade, who I knew had known Cat since 2nd grade. She looked paler than normal and though no tears were in her eyes, still looked broken. I felt the need to say something to her.

"Jade, I know you've known her forever and she was your best friend. If you need anyone to talk to, I'm there if you need a friend."

The cynical part of me, and I do have one, fully expected Jade to insult me or tell me we're not friends. I quietly braced myself for her response, something that I'm more than used to.

"Thank you." Jade said in a quiet voice, as she lowered her head and walked off and vanished into the crowd.

I found Trina soon after and could see even myself centered sister was affected.

"I'm so sorry to hear about Cat, she was goofy, but ok." My sister said somberly.

We drove home in silence and I then spent the afternoon looking at picture and videos of Cat and of course crying.

Jade unexpectedly came over, later on that evening. I had opened the door and she just walked in sat down and started to talk. She told me a story about how when her and Cat were 8 years old they went out after a rainstorm and played in the mud.

"We knew our mothers would be furious. I didn't care and Cat was having too much fun to really give it much thought. I was pretending Barbie was drowning in the mud. First Barbie went in and of course Ken went to save her, but Barbie pulled Ken in. The rest of the Barbie's made a brave rescue effort, forming a human chain. But they were all pulled in and drowned as well. I can still imagine their screams of terror as one by one they knew they were going to die. Cat just sat there making mud pies and giggling. She made a 5 course meal made of mud. Mud pancakes, mud soup, mud steak, mud soda. We had such a wonderful time. By the time we came home, we were covered head to toe in mud, plus the outfits were wearing were utterly ruined. I was grounded for 2 weeks." Jade who had been speaking in a monotone, then lowered her head and said ever so softly. "She's gone."

I sat down next to her as Jade began to sob. "Why didn't she tell me she was sick? Why? I was her best friend."

Starting to cry myself I put my arm around her and surprisingly she neither flinched or protested., I said. "I don't know."

That night, we started to bond as a result of our mutual grief. We spent hours talking about Cat and our experiences with her; both good and bad. Of course why she didn't tell us remained at the forefront of our minds.

We found out 2 days later at the funeral. There must have been dozens of people attending and I don't think there was a dry eye in the house.

Just after the service and before we went to the grave side, a young man with short brown hair in an ill-fitting grey suit walked up to all of us. I had only met him once before, but I knew he was Cat's brother, Michael.

"Cat didn't want you to worry." He said, as he oddly didn't look any of us in the eye. He also seemed very nervous and was constantly rubbing his hands. He looked very uncomfortable around people and spent the nearly the entire funeral next to his grieving parents.

"What?" Replied Beck.

"Cat knew she was getting sicker, she wanted to get better. I went with her to all her doctor's appointments. I think she told you she was taking me to the doctor. She didn't want you to worry about her. She wanted to be normal. But mostly she was scared, that you would be afraid. She didn't want you to be afraid. She loved you all very much."

Then, he simply turned and walked away.

So that was it, she loved us and didn't want us to be afraid. I looked over at the casket and the ache in my chest felt more intense. Just then I felt an arm wrap around my waist. It was Jade comforting me.

It was a beautiful sunny day when we buried cat on a hilltop cemetery. It's a place I come to a lot when I want to think.

If anything good came out of Cat's sudden death it was that in the weeks following, Jade and I continued to bond. While the guys were stoic and largely hid their emotion after that, Jade and I helped each other. Though opposites, we soon became the closest of friends.

We hung out constantly, both with the group and by ourselves. I watched the scissoring with her and she watched all of So you think you can dance with me. She would come to my house and I would come over to hers. Somedays, she'd just quietly sit in the corner and write, some days we would do things. We frequently disagreed about what we wanted to do, but always managed to compromise and have fun.

Over those months, we were becoming ever closer as friends, but my feelings started to make less sense.

I was tempted to talk to Jade about it right off, but kept it to myself, especially when I realized that I liked girls as well as guys. I wasn't sure how'd she react. I felt bad about it, not telling her, but I just couldn't. I was so worried about what she'd say.

Soon I realized I liked her. My eyes would linger on her form just a bit longer than needed and I loved it when we would sit on the bed in her darkened bedroom watching old horror movies. I loved being close to her. I loved it when we'd bicker over where to eat. My heart would jump every time I saw her.

At first I thought it was just a crush, I was just realizing I was bisexual and figured my feelings were just a bit stirred up. But my feelings for Jade only got stronger and stronger. By March I realized that I loved Jade, plain and simple.

I wanted it to be just her and me forever, watching old movies, bickering, laughing, me scolding Jade when she was being mean to people, her making me laugh. I wanted nothing else and I was falling deeper and deeper in love each day.

Still I was afraid to say anything, terrified actually. I was so worried that she would reject me or call me a dyke or not want to be my friend anymore. So like Cat and her failing heart, I kept the problem with my heart to myself.

I didn't know what to do, I was so afraid, but I wanted to tell her so badly. I kept imagining this scenario that I would tell her and she would press her lips against mine and romantic music would play.

Jade was single as was I. She had broken up with Beck the previous summer and since Cat's death neither of us dated.

Soon summer came and though we had been close as could be our paths temporally separated. We both looked for summer Jobs and one of the ones I applied for was a counselor at a Music camp in upstate California. In late May they called me in for an interview and offered me the job on the spot. I would get to work with young people helping them learn music and the pay was pretty good. But I would be gone nearly all summer.

I was excited and sad. Sad of course as it meant time away from Jade. But one night, I thought that may be a good thing. It could give me time to think things through and formulate a plan of action.

A few days later, Jade got a Job herself at a small Independent record store called Atomic records.

We spent a last two weeks together, and packed in as much fun in as we could. I loved her so much and she seemed to love being with me. But did she love me?

On the last night before I left, she walked me to my door and before saying anything, hugged me as tight as she could. Smelling her hair, being in her embrace, I felt like I was in heaven.

Then she released me and kissed me on the cheek. That in itself was a first, up to now she had only hugged me. I was the only person allowed to hug her.

"Later Vega. Be safe. If you die, I'm going to kill you. Stay away from the abandoned summer camp across the lake. The one where those counselors were killed those years ago. If there a strangely quiet, flat chested girl named Angela is there, be super nice to her and never pick on her. Don't play any pranks on the caretaker, especially if he's an old guy named cropsy. Also remember, when you're being chased, don't bother to try the car, it will never start. "

She then handed me a pair of scissors from her bag. "Keep these on you at all times and under your pillow at night. Don't just stab the killer once, keep stabbing, so he won't open his eyes and kill you. I won't be around to keep you out of trouble and doing stupid things. I'll be working lots of hours, so…I'll miss you. Got all that."

I nodded and then. Jade then walked off, leaving me with my heart in my throat.

I went to camp and much to my annoyance, they frowned on cell phone use. The head of the camp felt it was a distraction. In any case, the reception was terrible, anyway so my chances to speak to Jade were infrequent.

But the camp itself was wonderful, I was in charge of a cabin with six 12 year old girls and they were all great. They were fun and all loved music as much as I did. We had music classes, swam, explored the forest, had recitals and a big talent show at the end of the summer. Things kept me very busy and the 2 times I was home, Jade was working nearly all the time I was there. Though I had time to think it all through, I missed Jade terribly.

She was there with me in spirit, when I would tell spooky stories around the campfire. Some of which came from stories or ideas that Jade had told me. The other campers loved my stories.

We did talk on the phone a few times, but it wasn't the same as being together. Something I wanted more than anything. She was never far from my mind. I spent my spare time, thinking about her and gathering the courage to tell her I loved her. At night I would slip her scissors under my pillow, knowing it would please her to no end. It made me feel close to her.

I even wrote a speech and practiced it on the dock about a dozen times. During august in the last few weeks before I came back Jade and only spoke once. I was busy with the final talent competition and Jade was packing in the ours at work.

The one time, we did talk, Jade sounded very upbeat. I asked why, but she simply said things were going her way and she couldn't wait for me to be back.

I didn't know that that meant but had little time to think about it.

Finally I finished with Camp and returned a few days before the first day of our Senior year. It was a Saturday and as soon as I got back, I learned there was going to be a party at Hollywood arts to welcome in the new school year.

My time had finally come, to tell Jade the truth. Eager to do it, I texted Jade.

To Jade: R U coming to party, Looking forward to see U.

Her response came quick.

To Tori: I'll be there, can't wait to see you. Much to talk about. Missed your lame jokes.

Tonight was the night, I picked my pretest green dress. Green is one of Jade's favorite colors. I did my hair up perfect and put on my most expensive perfume.

I ran through my perfect speech of undying love one last time and rode with Trina to Hollywood Arts.

Trina chattered on about how she was going to be ultra-popular this year, but my mind was firmly on Jade. I was so nervous and so excited at the same time.

Arriving at the dance, I looked for her immediately. She was going to fall in love and we'd be happy, but Jade as usual was late.

I chatted with Andre a bit, but he was too busy checking out the newcomers. With every passing second I was more nervous, I ran through my speech another time and took up a post near the entrance. I wasn't going to miss her.

My heart was pounding as the minutes past by. I had this fear she wouldn't show up.

Finally caught a glimpse of her through the crowd. My heart immediately jumped for Joy, I took a step forward and grinned as she walked into the asphalt café where the dance was being held.

But I quickly sensed something was off, she wasn't alone. She was talking to someone I couldn't see.

Then the crowd parted and I saw her companion.

He was tall, about 6'1" with short spiky black hair and a pale complexion. On top of it he was very handsome and wearing all black.

It was then I noticed it.

My heart fell, actually it crumpled into dust, as I saw his left hand which was holding Jade's right hand.

"No….she's holding his hand." I said as I studied the happy expression on Jade's face.

"No…no…no…no…no…." I stammered as I backed into the crowd and began to shake.

Happily the couple walked in the dance and I couldn't get over how happy Jade looked. She would walk a few feet, look at him and seem to smile more and more.

From behind me, I could hear some girl say in a rather snide tone of voice to her friends.

"Oh goodie, look who's arrived, the dark cloud and her new boyfriend. Every time I see them, they're sucking face. What on earth does he see in her?"

I suddenly felt sick, my stomach suddenly turning itself inside out. In addition, my chest felt tight and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"She's got a boyfriend." I said, as I hovered on the verge of tears.

Not able to handle the searing pain of loss I suddenly felt, I ran away. Spotting Trina, I ran up.

"Trina, I'm not feeling, well. I think I ate something bad. I think it was that leftover potato salad. I'm catching the bus home. Have a good night." I said it all quickly and was obviously on the verge of tears.

Had not Trina been too busy flirting with the blonde guy she was with, she may have quickly realized that I was obviously lying. I looked far too upset, for a simple case of being sick as a result of bad potato salad.

Instead she shrugged and returned her attention to her latest would be boyfriend. "Fine, later." Was her quick reply.

I went out the back way, and desperately fighting to hold back my tears, ran to the bus stop. Feeling devastated, I rode it home. I was however, determined not to cry. Somehow I didn't, which was a surprise, considering, how upset I was.

Arriving home, I turned off my phone, put on my PJs, crawled into bed and covered myself with my comforter.

I almost found myself, much like Cat, to go to sleep and never wake up. After all it was my fault. I didn't tell Jade, I didn't roll the dice. Now the game was over and there was nothing I could do about it.

Cat couldn't live with her broken heart; somehow, I'll have to live with mine.

**I had planned on working on something else, but sometimes the idea for a story will just hit me. I happened to see on twitter, a recent picture of Liz Gillies holding the hand of a guy whom I would guess is her boyfriend or date. My sole comment on the picture itself is to say that guy, is one lucky S.O.B. But the picture got me thinking and soon enough, a story soon started to gel in my head.**

**In her speech about summer camps, Jade refers to" Friday the 13th Part 2", "Sleepaway Camp" and "The Burning." All classic slasher films.**

**I may have skipped over a lot of Tori and Jade getting closer, but we will be using some flashbacks in this story.**

**So tell me what you think? Do you guys like it so far? Let me know.**


	2. What I missed

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Broken Hearts**

**Chapter 2 – What I missed.**

**No ones POV**

Jade normally didn't like the dances, they had at Hollywood arts. Actually, Jade didn't like a lot of things, Hollywood Arts dances, being one of them. But tonight, she was actually looking forward to the annual, beginning of the year dance. It was always held the Saturday before the start of classes and gave people a chance to catch up with old friends and meet new ones.

Jade had always gone to these affairs, despite her loathing of them. She viewed it, as a chance to hand pick the people she would torment during the upcoming year. Also she took the opportunity to reestablish herself, as the most feared and beautiful person on campus. A position she took great pride in.

Tonight she was actually looking forward to it for a number of reasons.

Dressed all in black, she walked in with a smirk on her face and her new man at her side. Her very first thought however, was "where's Vega".

Quickly she scanned the crowed for the Latina, but she was nowhere to be seen. Quickly, Jade growled in annoyance.

"Where is she?"

"Your friend Tori", said Eric, her new boyfriend.

Jade kept scanning the crowd. "Yes, she's not here. She's supposed to be here."

"Calm down, there's lots of people here, I'm sure she's round somewhere. Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to show me off. After all, I'm totally irresistible. I've said so myself." Joked Eric.

Jade narrowed her eyes and glared at Eric in mock irritation. "Who said I want to show you to anyone. You're mine and they can keep their greedy eyes to themselves. One more thing, I'm the irresistible one in this relationship, don't you forget it."

"Hey Chica." Said a familiar voice, behind them.

Turning round she saw a smiling Andre walking up.

"Where's Vega!" Snapped Jade instantly.

Andre briefly frowned. "I'm fine thank you. My summer's been great."

Jade's scowl got more distinct.

Defusing the situation, Eric smiled and extended his hand. "You must be Andre. I'm Eric Hodgson. I'm starting at Hollywood arts on Monday. Pleased to meet you."

Andre shook Eric's hand. "Pleased to meet you, I'm Andre Harris, you must be Jade's new boyfriend."

Before Eric could speak, Jade cut in, sounding increasingly impatient. "You didn't answer my question, Where's Vega?"

"I saw her a half an hour ago, but I haven't seen her since."

"You two talk, I'm finding Vega." Jade commanded, before disappearing into the crowd.

For a moment there was an awkward silence before Andre joked nervously. "She's gone, now's your chance. Run like the wind."

For a moment Eric, looked like he was offended, but suddenly burst out laughing and slapped Andre on the back. "Good one, I like that."

The ice broke, Andre and Eric soon began to talk.

Meanwhile, Jade walked all around, the asphalt café, where the dance was being held and didn't find Tori. After looking in the bathrooms, Jade found herself beginning to get angry.

She texted Tori. "I'm here, Where R U"

There was no response.

Though angry, Jade found herself a bit worried; it wasn't like Tori to simply vanish.

Finally she spotted Trina, trying flirt with a handsome senior guy who looked marginally interested in her. Jade then stormed up to Trina and barked.

"Talentless wonder, where's your sister?"

Trina looked at Jade, with daggers in her eyes for a moment.

"She said she had a headache or something and went home. Now if you mind, I was talking to someone."

Jade then turned her attention to the guy that Trina was flirting with and glared at him intensely.

"LEAVE, NOW!"

With a fearful look, the guy quickly fled.

"Hey, he was going to ask me out!" Protested Trina.

"I doubt it, but if so, I did him a favor, later ugly Vega!" Jade said dismissively, as she walked off.

Jade walked a bit and huffed, feeling very disappointed. She had barely seen her friend all summer and was looking forward to seeing her again. She was eager for Tori to meet Eric.

As she stood there, lamenting on the fact that Tori wasn't there, Jade for a brief instant, thought she saw Cat out of the corner of her eye.

She turned off course and there was no one there. Cat being there was quite impossible, as she had died last October. But thinking of Cat, her mind quickly drifted back to last year's dance.

**_Flashback – Exactly 1 year ago_**

Everyone was enjoying the beginning of the year dance and looking forward to their junior year. Well most everyone, while Andre, Robbie, Cat and Tori were having a good time, Jade and Beck weren't.

They spent the first hour of the dance either giving each other the silent treatment or arguing. Their relationship was on the rocks and everyone knew it. They would break up for good, 3 days later.

At the moment, they were standing off to the side and arguing. The rest of gang who was watching from their table, had no idea what it was about. All they knew, is that there had been a lot of arguments between them lately.

"Can we stop fighting for a while and just try to enjoy the dance." Beck said, tired of the back and forth.

"Fine, but we're not done." Jade snapped, before walking off towards the gang's table.

Jade, looking seriously unhappy, plopped down in a chair next to Tori, who immediately greeted her warmly.

"Hi Jade, great of you to join us. We're about to dance in a minute."

Jade quickly scowled. "Just because I'm sitting next to you, doesn't mean we're friends."

Tori promptly ignored the slight and returned her conversation with Robbie about the upcoming school year.

A few minutes later, Tori stood up and said. "Enough talk, let's dance."

Andre, Cat and Robbie all stood up and moved with Tori towards the dance floor. Tori after going a few feet, stopped and looked back at Jade who was still sitting.

"You coming Jade?"

"I hate dancing."

"No you don't. You're a good dancer. Come on,"

"Yeah Jade, come on." Added Andre.

Jade was about to steadfastly refuse, when Beck sat down at the table. Jade promptly got up and walked with the group to the dance floor.

The group, sans Beck, went to the dance floor and began do dance. Jade however stood slightly off as she didn't want people to think she was actually dancing with Tori.

They had made it through a few songs and Tori could tell even Jade was enjoying herself after a while. But after the 4th song, Cat started to leave the dance floor.

"Where are you going Cat?" Asked Tori.

"I'm a bit tired; I'm going to sit the next few out. Keep going." Cat said with a gracious smile.

The others said ok, with the exception of Jade who merely scowled.

As it were, the very next song was a slow song and Jade couldn't get off the dance floor fast enough. As the group reached the table, Tori looked at Cat.

"Are you ok, you look almost out of breath and a bit pale?"

Cat nodded quickly and smiled. "I'm fine. I haven't been doing much the last few weeks of summer so I'm a bit out of shape. All I do is take my brother to his doctor's appointments. Just give me a bit of time and I'll be dancing all night."

"Good."

"Cat, it's bad enough you're dense, stop being such a weakling too. What good are you?" Jade said somewhat harshly, as she sat down.

"Jade that was mean, apologize." Tori promptly responded.

Cat raised her hand to stop her.

"No Tori, forget it. Let's just talk and have a good time. No argument's anymore tonight. Lets' just all have a good time. Please." Cat pleaded.

Everyone nodded.

**_End flashback._**

Jade felt a profound stab of regret, as the memory sunk back into her mind.

"Your heart was failing, you just couldn't keep up, couldn't you?. Did you know the end was near? Did you feel it? I just couldn't see it. You tired so easily those days and I just never saw it. Cat, I am so sorry." Jade whispered.

Jade was brought out of her reverie by a hand on her shoulder. Turning, she could see it was Eric. Andre was standing next to him.

"You find your friend?"

"No!" Jade said, visibly annoyed. "She wasn't feeling well and went home."

"I'm sorry, I'll meet her on Monday at school, I guess."

"I want to leave." Jade stated in a rather stark tone.

Eric shrugged, "Ok."

Andre looked to Eric and shook his hand. "Well it was great meeting you. See you Monday."

"Good to meet you Andre. Hey let's jam sometime, I'll bring my bass."

"Sure."

Jade who looked increasingly impatient, grabbed Eric's hand and yanked him into the crowd. A few moments later, Beck walked up.

"Hey, where's Jade going?"

"Leaving."

"She just arrived." Beck responded with a puzzled look.

"She found Tori wasn't here and wanted to leave."

"Wait, Tori left too. I just saw her a little while ago."

"Yeah, she apparently wasn't feeling well. I did meet Jade's new boyfriend, Eric."

Beck scoffed. "I saw him, he looked her type alright. All in Black. I can only imagine, what he was like."

"He is a Goth mind you. He loves the Scissoring and all that weird music Jade listens too.. But he's actually a nice guy; really outgoing. He's starting at Hollywood arts Monday. He plays bass. I even mentioned that you, I and Robbie, go golfing sometime and he wants to go with us. Says he has a new golf drinking game, which sounded fun."

"What's that?"

"It's called equalizer. After each hole, the person who has the least strokes, drinks a drink. The better you are the more you drink."

Beck Laughed. "That's a switch. Maybe, I'll stand a chance for once."

"It's funny, though." Andre pondered, as he watched Jade and Eric vanish into the parking lot.

"What, the golf game?"

"No, Eric, he's so outgoing and friendly. It's just a bit odd."

"And I'm not?" Said Beck, sounding a bit offended. "I dated her too you know."

"You're more the strong silent type. Come on, enough of the Wicked Witch of the West. Let's see some of the new girls, the upcoming year has in store."

"No argument there."

* * *

><p>The next morning, Tori awoke with a stomach ache. While she had told her sister she had eaten some bad tuna salad, today she felt real pain. The pain however in her stomach was due to heartache. On top of that, she was tired as she had tossed and turned most of the night.<p>

Part of her just wanted to cry, but she refused to cry. She wasn't even sure why she held her tears back, but she did. She turned her deep sorrow and pain inward and it seemed to settle in her gut of all places.

With a sense of dread she turned her phone on.

First, she looked at her texts. She had 4 of them.

From Jade" I'm here, where r u."

From Andre': Sorry to hear you weren't feeling well. Met Jade's new guy, he's cool."

From Beck: Hope you feel better.

From Robbie: Get better. See you Monday.

She then noticed that she had a single voice mail message. From Jade's phone number no less.

"I can only guess what she said. When she found out I ditched." Tori groaned as she hit play.

Jade's voice came through and as always sent a tremor through her now shattered heart.

_"Vega, how dare you get sick on me and leave. You were supposed to meet someone special. Don't you dare be sick on Monday. If you are, I will find you, drag you out of bed, stuff you in my trunk and take you to school myself. Oh yeah, I hope you feel better, because you better get better."_

Tori sighed. "Only Jade could wish someone well, threaten them at the same time and still sound wonderful."

Tori knew she had to face Jade and her new, seemingly cool, boyfriend tomorrow. Something that made her stomach churn even more. She knew that holding onto her love of Jade and the resulting heart break was to put it bluntly, pathetic, but she just couldn't let it go.

"Andre approves of him. You need to hate him Andre. Not like him." Mumbled Tori as she reluctantly pulled herself out of bed.

All she could do is walk to the mirror and practice her very best, fake smile.

**I'm glad people like the story so far. Thanks for the reviews. Please keep em coming and let me know what you think.**


	3. My best fake smile

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**Broken Hearts**

**Chapter 3 – My best fake smile.**

**Tori's POV**

I woke up Monday, the first day of school with a stomach ache. It felt like the same stomach ache as yesterday; one cause by tension and stress.

The source of that stress of course Jade, my feelings for her and the fact that I thought of her not loving me, makes me ill. I'm worried about what I'll say, how this will affect our friendship and a hundred things. The fact that I've seemed to reduce myself to a pathetic mess, doesn't help.

I'm also feeling sad, not just for Jade, but I'm missing Cat today. I want to talk to her, tell her how I feel about Jade. She's the only one I could tell. She's say something goofy, but ultimately very wise. I miss her terribly.

Andre is a good friend of course, but I just don't feel comfortable talking to him about these things that plague my mind. I just can't.

I could talk to my sister, I'm sure that's crossed your mind by now. I could, if I wanted half of the school to know by lunchtime. Even if she didn't say anything, she'd just somehow make this about herself.

I feel so alone.

I pulled myself together, put on the fake smile I had been practicing yesterday, dressed and got ready for school. Coming down to breakfast I found my sister reading a glamour magazine.

"Try and not to embarrass me this year." She said with a critical eye.

"I'm sure you'll manage that very well all by yourself. Especially when you perform or do anything that requires skill and or talent." I shot back bitterly, accidentally letting some of my inner tension leak out.

Looking horribly offended, Trina was about to respond, when my mom, who was making eggs, quickly cut us off.

"Trina, Tori, stop that right now!"

I quickly took a deep breath, resolving to never let my inner turmoil leak out again. The rest of breakfast went fine, thought I wasn't able to eat much, due to my stomach ache.

My mom inquired but I simply told her I wasn't hungry.

Once in the car on the way to school, Trina just glared at me and we rode in silence. But with each passing minute, I got closer and closer to Jade and her new boyfriend. The closer I got, the more nervous and tense I got, which only made my gut feel worse.

Looking out the window at the houses, as they passed by, my mind drifted back to the night of Cat's death.

**_Flashback _**

In all the times Jade and I had gotten close, our playdate at Nozu, the time I had helped with her and Beck and the others, we had gone right back to being frenenimies almost immediately after. One day, we'd actually be talking like friends, the next she wouldn't give me the time of day and if she did, it would be the wrong time.

So even though we had spent hours crying together and talking about Cat, in the back of my mind I kept thinking.

"Now we're close, tomorrow, she'll call me a talentless loser and probably fill my purse with tapioca, again."

I like having friends and have always found her mysterious, fascinating and talented. So naturally I wanted to be her friend and was rebuffed constantly. It was horribly cynical but I was dealing with Jade. One minute she could be friendly and engaging and the next could be moody, dark and cruel, but mostly she was cruel.

It was past 10:30 and Jade just after tearfully telling me another Cat story, she got up, wiped her tears and announced in a monotone voice.

"I'm tired."

"I'll walk you to the door."

I walked her to the door and wiped my own tears. In the back of my mind, I couldn't help but feel the first stages of the letdown that was soon to come.

Once to the door I said. "Thank you for coming over. I hoped I helped."

In my mind I played out the response I fully expected.

Her voice would be harsh and cold and it would go something like this. "You didn't help at all, I feel worse, later Vega." Then she would simply walk away and the cycle would simply start over.

But what actually happened was quite different. Her features seemed to soften briefly and I could see honest gratitude in her eyes. "Thank you Tori."

Then even more to my surprise, she hugged me. I didn't know how to even process it, but all I knew that I was in Jade's arms and it felt, nice. I know nice is a rather vague word, but for such a cold woman, her embrace felt warm and comforting.

When the embrace ended a moment later, found myself unexpectedly wanting to remain within it. It was a confused feeling I didn't quite understand.

"Let's go out tomorrow night, try and have fun. Cat would want that. We can go to Nozu."

Now I was totally blown away, first she thanks me, then she hugs me than she actually wants to be seen in public with me. Suddenly that strange but, not unwelcome, feeling within me jumped a bit. But I quickly pushed that out of my mind and smiled.

"Sounds good. Pick me up at 7."

"Be ready. I don't wait." Jade said, with a fierce scowl.

With that Jade was gone.

The next day at school was anything but normal. With the passing of our friend the day before, everyone's emotions were still quite raw. Jade was mostly quiet and in 2 of our classes sat next to me.

That night at 7 she came over and we indeed go out. I'd like to say we hit it off right away, but that wasn't the case. Outside of the subject of Cat, our conversation was awkward and she did occasionally insult me. But I did notice her insults seemed to lack sting.

I had a good time, but wasn't sure if Jade did. At the end of our dinner, Jade smiled, her first of the evening, and said. "Thank you."

The next day was the day of Cat's funeral. I fully expected Jade to stay near her no ex-boyfriend Beck, but upon arriving sat next to me and stayed near me the entire time.

She said little, but as Cat was lowered into the ground, was overcome and cried into my shoulder. This time I hugged her and again if felt right. The next day I invited her to the movies and still to my surprise, she accepted. Though we initially disagreed on what to see, we finally found a compromise.

Over the next few days we spent a lot of time together. We cried, laughed occasionally, but more importantly begun to bond.

I wonder if Cat hadn't died, Jade and I would have become as close as we did. I simply don't know. I feel guilty sometimes as I do feel like I profited in some way by Cat's death. Another burden I silently bear.

**End flashback.**

By the time I arrived in school, my stomach felt like it was in knots. Trina and I got out of the car and she just walked away.

I headed towards the entrance where I knew Jade usually sat. Of course, I put on my best practiced smile.

Soon enough I spotted the raven haired, would be love of my life. She was sitting on the steps next to her new guy. They were both drinking coffee and talking. Just seeing her happily chatting with him made my heart crack just a bit more. But I pushed it down inside of me and walked up.

"Well, Well, look who finally decided to show up." Said Jade, doing her best to sound horribly irritated.

"I ate some bad tuna salad, didn't Trina tell you?"

Jade scoffed. "She told me you had a headache."

"Typical. She didn't even listen."

Then I looked to her pale, dark haired, boyfriend how was studying me casually.

"So you're her next victim. We're still finding pieces of the last two."

That little remark caused Jade to grin evilly, which made my broken heart to briefly flutter.

He laughed and extended his hand. "We'll I guess I'll have to make sure all my body parts have my name and number tattooed on them. Hello, you must be Tori. Hi I'm Eric Hodgson, Pleased to meet you."

I shook his hand and looked at his smile and friendly expression and two things went through my mind.

A) My stomach feels even worse now that I've touched him.

B) You have what I want. I hate you.

But I smiled back and said. "Pleased to meet you. Sorry I couldn't meet you the other night, I wasn't feeling well."

"Well I get to meet you now. I hope you're feeling better."

I then looked to Jade who looked happy. "So this is your boyfriend."

Jade smirked and took his hand, which I could barely stand to watch, but I must be a better actress than I thought as Jade seemed to not notice.

"Yep, this one wasn't half a as horrible as I initially thought, so I figured I'd keep him around for laughs and the fact that he puts out."

Eric, now I really hate you, please die.

I then looked to Eric. "So how long have you been together? Where did you meet?"

"We met at the record store she worked at. I kept coming in and every time I would try and talk to this mysterious beauty, she would just threaten to kill me. I turned on the charm and then she only threatened to cut off my balls, so I knew I was getting somewhere. Someday she may not even threaten to hurt me at all. But we've been seeing each other pretty serious about 6 weeks now." He said in a jovial tone.

I looked to Jade and she was beaming, actually beaming as she looked at him. My stomach which collected all my tension, jealousy and anger, suddenly rumbled. I want to make Jade beam.

I did what was expected and asked him about himself. He was a new student at Hollywood arts, he plays the bass. He grew up all over the world as his dad was an officer in the Air Force until he left the service some 3 years ago. Eric had all kinds of interesting stories about far off places. He was funny and outgoing and seemed nice. He was also a Goth and shared with Jade a love of this scissoring and all kinds of morbid things.

He asked me questions about me and my time at camp and seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say about music and other things.

All in all he was very likeable, which made me despise him even more.

A few minutes later the first bell rang to indicate the start of classes was in 10 minutes.

Eric then jumped up and gave Jade a kiss. "I gotta get to my first class. It's on the other side of school. Talk to you later."

Jade beamed again. "You'd better or I'll hunt you down."

Finally we were left alone and I looked to Jade. "So you've been serious with this guy and you don't even tell me." I tried to not look hurt, but I think some of my emotions leaked out. I really need to keep them down.

"Sorry Vega. It just happened so fast. You were busy with the camp. "

"That's Ok. Hey let's get together tonight. Catch up. We can go to the UCLA campus and I can scold you while you make fun of the sorority sisters. That and get some pizza at that place we really like on campus."

Jade frowned. "I've got plans with Eric tonight. He's taking me to see a new Goth band, downtown."

"How about tomorrow?"

"Sorry, I'm having dinner at his parents' house tomorrow. I'll call you."

Before I could say anything else, Jade started to move off. "I got to go. If I don't terrorize at least one freshman before the start of classes, I'm just not myself. See you later Vega."

I did the only thing I could do, watch the woman I love walk off, while ignoring the constant pain in my stomach. I at the same, I time silently berated myself for letting my emotions show again. I need to at least try to be happy for Jade or at least act happy. I can't show my emotions, my pain, my hurt, my stress.

Not ever.

**I've been trying to tell 2 stories at once, through the use of flashbacks. First how Jade and Tori came so close and how Tori fell in love. The second story is the aftermath. Do you guys like it?**

**Tori's decided to bury her pain, deep inside of her but, it's already manifested itself as a stomach ache. Not a wise thing to do but we all make bad choices from time to time.**


End file.
